Mission[1] Statement TWIXT[2] magazine represents the views [3] of Individuals [4] who have passed through life's so-called "formative [5] stages" of childhood, adolescence, and post-adolescence [6] (i.e., the college years [7]), but do not yet exemplify, nor identify with the ideals and characteristics of the mainstream conception [8] of adulthood (getting married, buying a home, choosing a career, having kids [9], etc.), and when they do adopt these social structures and "adult" responsibilities, they do so with a different outlook [10], with a vision [11] of the world that diverges from the ones held by previous TWIXTERS'. To this end, TWIXT [12] magazine focuses on issues that reflect the Twixter generation's interests [13], concerns [14], and personal experiences [15]. ©2006 twixtmagazine.com [16] GFY[17] [1] A special assignment given to a person or group: an agent on a secret mission. 2.) A combat operation to a person or military unit. Aerospace operation intended to carry out specific program objectives: a mission to mars. 3.) An inner calling; a vocation. A secret aerospace business operation military unit intending to pursue program objectives on Mars, vocationally—So that's what we're supposed to be doing here? In that case, I think we need special uniforms. (to top) [2] Any resemblance this word may have to readily consumed, prepackaged candy bars, or to those no longer in production (for example, the cookies n' cream filled Twix bars that were so tasty. What happened?) is purely coincidental and has no relation to our staff's intention of placing large, free-standing, cardboard Twix Bars up throughout our offices that will also function as fun-size Twix bar dispensers (You hear that M&M Mars????) (to top) [3] We at Twixt are view-ocratic. Be you birds-eye, rear, pre or rare we will take your vantage point into consideration. Then we will dominate the world. (to top) [4] We would like to bring to your attention the deconstruction of the word, 'individual' into its three sections, 'in' 'divi' and 'dual,' that thereby, using latin derived prefixes and bases, can be translated into "not divided in parts," and so enabling you to define this word, and many words, for which you already have the definition. . . .quite the handy tool. (to top) [5] See "conception." (to top) [6] As with postmodernism, post-adolescence reacts against earlier adolescent principles, as by reintroducing traditional or classical elements of style (the reemergence of disco apparel, aviator glasses, and hippy print skirts, only to name a few) or by carrying adolescent styles or practices to extremes (for example, getting 11 hours of sleep in a 36 hour period, or eating coco puffs and frosted flakes (separately, or in combination, with or without 2% reduced fat milk) for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and the "occasional" midnight snack). (to top) [7] Time spent superimposing reading, writing, and arithmetic with lengthy discussions of the global repercussions of alligator populations in South America, postmodern critical theories of language and lexicon, and the metaphysics of Ontology (see footnote on "concerns"). (to top) [8] Formation of a viable zygote by the union of the male sperm and female ovum; fertilization. No wonder twixters aren't having babies, it sounds like gardening. (to top) [9] AKA - Rugrats, Weeds, Critters, Stinkpots, Creepy Crawlers, Brats, and Babyheads (Our interior design consultant swears this is a real nickname though no one else has heard it). (to top) [10] "I burned my tongue on my low-fat white mocha and it hurts like a bitch!" (to top) [11] Because a particular usage of the word 'vision' has fallen so drastically out of the common lexicon, the decision has been made to introduce the phrase 'a vision of beauty' into our current lexicon to replace such unseemly remarks as 'baby got back' and 'she's all that and a bag of chips.' (What were they thinking. Ruffles? Frito Lay?) (to top) [12] We decided to look into the Twix candy bar issue, e-mailed customer service at the Twix Candy Bars (which we later came to know as TWIX COOKIE BARS) with the following question: "Dear Twix: Do you still make those scrumptious cookies'n'cream filled Twix bars and if so, at what local vendors can we find them? If not, why and can you please bring them back?" To which we received the following response: "In response to your email regarding TWIX COOKIE BARS. Thanks for contacting us about TWIX COOKIE BARS. Because we are reviewing our marketing strategy, this product is unavailable at this time. Your comments will be shared with our Marketing Staff. The product cannot be purchased via the Internet nor directly from us. Have a great day! Your Friends at Masterfoods USA (to top) [13] We have determined that there is a dividing line between people who think the word 'interest', along with its variants, 'interested' and 'interesting', is the most disappointing word in our common lexicon, (because it has become the least, well, "interesting") , and people who think it is the most versatile word for the same exact reason (followed closely by 'odd' and 'different') especially when you put quotes around it. (to top) [14] Alligators in South America, the "post-adolescent" desire to reintroduce the word 'lexicon' into our current colloquial lexicon, the global repercussions of stuff, and putting quotes around words to make their meanings less "individual" and more "interesting." (to top) [15] Well Masterfoods USA, we decided to continue sharing our "personal experiences" with you by continuing our correspondence with your fine company: "Dear 'Friends' at Masterfoods USA, Thank you for responding to my e-mail about TWIX COOKIE BARS. Please feel free to share the following comments with your marketing staff: MMMMMMmmmmmm those cookies'n'cream TWIX COOKIE BARS are so tasty! Please bring them back . . . pretty please?" We have yet to receive a response. (to top) [16] If you copy us we will be quite flattered, and then we will be very very angry. (to top) [17] GFY is an abbreviation in our common lexicon for a helpful phrase that goes a little something like this, "GO FUCK YOURSELF." And if anyone tries to copy us, after we stop blushing, we will rain down expletives, such as this one, upon them, as "God" rained down upon the earth in the days of Noah's arc. And we'd be angry, very very angry. (to top) [18] Do we sound mean? We're not really mean, we're just "concerned" for our own best "interests." That's all. (to top)